I took time off after completing a project that required nearly a year of day-in-day-out effort. I needed a perspective shift. As I began to coordinate my thoughts and actions towards taking on the next round of work, I began to experience a distinct loss of direction, a breakdown of will, a disorientation regarding time and an overwhelming void of creativity. It made no sense to me. I believed that I had made significant gains in my spiritual approach to life over the last year. A general malaise settled like a dense fog over my interior life, despite my intentions to stay in the light. It led to a period of wandering away from my purpose in life.
For the last few weeks, I’ve been mired in a quagmire called ‘distraction’. In order to avoid the discomfort of taking a stand and simply getting started on whatever needs to begin, be it breaking an ingrained habit, doing the grueling groundwork for a large undertaking, being honest with self or any myriad of tough things we need to just get on with in life, one takes the easy road, a well-traveled street named ‘Evasion’. While hanging out on Evasion road, I would rally from time-to-time, get work done and then, just as quickly, I would resume full-on immersion in yet another distraction.
You can feel distraction physically; your chest contracts, your mind runs from thought to thought, and spiritual principles are applied half-heartedly, if at all. The result? No peace whatsoever. While I may not have been focused, actively on the work I needed to be doing, I sure as heck was thinking about it. No escape. Nowhere to turn. Ah, the garden needed weeding and so, off I ran.
Was it fear or a lack of creativity? I don’t know ... The days and weeks were ticking by, and still, very little was accomplished. Finally, I saw something that triggered the beginning of a new perspective. It was a few words that a friend posted online, she wrote ... "it’s not our darkness that scares us, it’s our light".
It got to me. I knew that I had been falling away from spiritual practices that had been keeping me productive and at peace. I had to re-climb the same mountain in order to get back to that point, but to do that, I would need to want productivity and peacefulness more than I wanted to keep evading the tough stuff.
I didn’t go willingly. The Universe had to toss me around a bit to get my attention. There was a lack of balance in my life and it was expressed through scattered emotions. While I was working and working hard, it was not on the the project that most needed my time and attention. One morning, I was in midst of working on one of my distraction projects when I went into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. The oft-repeated act of emptying the coffee filter suddenly became a pivotal moment, as it seemed as though this full filter of spent coffee grinds up and flew out of my hand, making a horrendous mess. While cleaning it up, I became aware of the toll that distraction takes, on mind, body and spirit.
That very morning, my meditation time had been reasoned away along with my time of prayer as I had chosen (unwisely) instead, to plunge headlong into a distraction project. It was the start of a realization, but I wasn’t fully on board. The next morning, I blew off a commitment to myself and allowed the needs of others to rule my day. While the important project beckoned, I turned my attention instead to my distraction project du jour. I got up to make some coffee once again and this time, it seemed as though the glass container that held my freshly, ground coffee beans up and flew out of my hand. The shattered glass and dispersed coffee grounds were everywhere.
At some point, during this protracted clean-up period, my brain finally clicked onto the truth, that Universe was intervening and was trying to pull my attention away from endless distraction and back onto the right track. I got honest with myself. This important project scared me to death, but instead of more evasion, I began to formulate a plan. There were a few things that had to be attended to first, but if I stayed focused, I could knock out these tasks and carve out a chunk of time to work on what scared me the most.
The Universe is Divine Love and Divine Order. How do I know this? Well, I stayed true to myself and knocked out these tasks that I needed to address, and during this work-intensive, non-distraction period of commitment I was truly amazed at how my physical energy never flagged. I literally powered through my ‘to-do’ list. I was back in alignment with my purpose, and man, did that feel good.
A few months ago, I had written the words, “Dream Fulfillment Plan” in my planner on what I thought was just a random date; as I needed a photograph of such a page for another project. As it turns out, the date that I had randomly chosen, was the exact day when I resumed my course directly towards fulfilling my dream.
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Bridget Geegan Blanton’s writing career as a newspaper columnist, a web-site contributor, content writer and French language translator has found new expression as a novelist. Whispers on the Wind, Bridget’s debut novel was the first installment in the Celtic Heart historical fiction series that continues with A Woman’s Equal Share. View more inspirational articles and motivational videos at Bridget’s web-site: http://www.desertrosebooks.com
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